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This morning, I was in my car at a light on James and Broadway, waiting to turn and get to the parking garage on campus. I knew the light was longer than normal, so I whipped my phone out of my vest and tapped on Facebook. A Thought Catalog post about “7 Rules to Not Be Clingy” or something like that caught my attention. I opened it up and found those basic rules for a girl to follow if she wants to not be clingy. In that moment, I started to think about those posts. Following Thought Catalog and Elite Daily on Facebook, I have seen plenty of those posts about rules to dating or how to’s in order to live a more fulfilled life. Granted, I follow these pages for the relatable 20’s posts and the friendship ones so I can post them on my best friend’s wall to prove to the world how much we love each other. Regardless, I have clicked on these posts numerous times out of curiosity. All of them are written by normal people. Oftentimes they are about how to keep the guy or how to not be jealous, clingy, know when the relationship is dwindling, etc. So I got to thinking. What messages are these kind of posts sending to women who are attempting to navigate through the modern dating world?
Well, first off, I’m the wrong girl to ask since I hardly navigate through the modern dating world. I hardly put up with that kind of stuff and the last date I went on was with my ex as friends for New Years… So…. that being said, I should probably be one of these girls who should follow these little posts. However, after dating all of the wrong men and being that girl who is connected at the hip with her best friend — I wonder if these little tips, tricks, and pieces of advice would actually attract the right person.
Sure, a little jealously and slight “clinginess” would never hurt in a relationship, but wouldn’t a person want someone they can be themselves around? More importantly, if you are clingy, wouldn’t be obvious that you aren’t comfortable with being alone in the first place? In my opinion, these posts have their point, but aren’t they teaching the reader how to not be themselves? Giving them certain rules in this superficial game of dating? Is that really what women want now — rules to play a dating game to date someone that probably doesn’t even appreciate who they are or even know who that person really is?
Despite it all, I think that women should not have a set of rules when dating. If you need these sets of rules then you are only going to attract the wrong person or play the superficial dating game for far too long. A relationship should be based off being with someone who you can be yourself with, regardless of what mood you are in. However, if you are clingy and using these rules to not be so, some quality time with yourself may be a good idea. Clinginess comes from not being comfortable with being alone. Learn how to love yourself and being alone — that’s the best advice. Don’t try while dating.
These posts are always entertaining to read; especially to post onto your best friend’s wall on Facebook. However, take these posts with a grain of salt. Don’t follow rule for rule. They’re only telling you how not to be yourself, but instead be some fantasy girl that guys want.
However, who am I to be telling you this stuff? I’m single after all….
alittleseattlesimple 