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As time progresses, more and more sex becomes a causal encounter. But how casual should sex be? Should we allow people to define it? Thanks to Carrie Bradshaw and the ultimate single gal image — sex is more acceptable to be casual than it was a decade ago. Despite it becoming more socially acceptable (especially because of HBO) it does not mean that women can escape the double standard. Guys are high-fived, women are called “whores”. So are we whores? Can we have sex without the negative stereotype? Are we allowed to own our sexuality?
This week, I had an experience that really made me re-think this idea of casual sex. I had hung out with this guy once and we had hardly exchanged many text messages before he texts me in the middle of the night. He asks to come over, I’m half asleep, shrugging my shoulders asking myself, “Why the hell not?” Next thing I know: Boom. Boom. Done.
I have had my fair share of encounters with guys. From boyfriends to flings, to a long term fling. However, there was something different about this one. I was deeply conflicted afterwards. Conflicted about what? Everything. Was a I whore? Was I used? Why did I do that? All of these kinds of questions began to circle in my head and I know I’m not the only girl who thinks of these things.
Reflecting on the situation I realized something vital. I was using him just as much as he was possibly using me. After all, I knew quite well what I was getting myself into by having him come over in the middle of the night. Sure, this wasn’t like me, but I knew what I was doing nonetheless and I knew the repercussions of what could happen afterwards. Then I started to ask myself: did I really want to date, hoping to have a boyfriend? Not really. Did I want to enter a fling as friends like my last encounter? Not really. I was not going down that rabbit hole anytime soon again. So then it came to me, maybe all I wanted was a simple hook up.
So, this progresses into the question of the century. Does this make me a whore? My answer? No! It makes me a woman. I have needs just like everyone else does. Take for example, does the majority of the population call Carrie Bradshaw a whore? And look at how many guys she had her in her life throughout Sex and the City! Does this mean that you should sleep with every guy that comes your way? No! But it means that you shouldn’t have to feel bad about your actions. Simply shrug your shoulders. No big deal. It happened. Move on.
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