Let’s Talk About…SHHHH!!!

GIF Credit: Tumblr

As time progresses, more and more sex becomes a causal encounter. But how casual should sex be? Should we allow people to define it? Thanks to Carrie Bradshaw and the ultimate single gal image — sex is more acceptable to be casual than it was a decade ago. Despite it becoming more socially acceptable (especially because of HBO) it does not mean that women can escape the double standard. Guys are high-fived, women are called “whores”. So are we whores? Can we have sex without the negative stereotype? Are we allowed to own our sexuality?

This week, I had an experience that really made me re-think this idea of casual sex. I had hung out with this guy once and we had hardly exchanged many text messages before he texts me in the middle of the night. He asks to come over, I’m half asleep, shrugging my shoulders asking myself, “Why the hell not?” Next thing I know: Boom. Boom. Done.

I have had my fair share of encounters with guys. From boyfriends to flings, to a long term fling. However, there was something different about this one. I was deeply conflicted afterwards. Conflicted about what? Everything. Was a I whore? Was I used? Why did I do that? All of these kinds of questions began to circle in my head and I know I’m not the only girl who thinks of these things.

Reflecting on the situation I realized something vital. I was using him just as much as he was possibly using me. After all, I knew quite well what I was getting myself into by having him come over in the middle of the night. Sure, this wasn’t like me, but I knew what I was doing nonetheless and I knew the repercussions of what could happen afterwards. Then I started to ask myself: did I really want to date, hoping to have a boyfriend? Not really. Did I want to enter a fling as friends like my last encounter? Not really. I was not going down that rabbit hole anytime soon again. So then it came to me, maybe all I wanted was a simple hook up.

So, this progresses into the question of the century. Does this make me a whore? My answer? No! It makes me a woman. I have needs just like everyone else does. Take for example, does the majority of the population call Carrie Bradshaw a whore? And look at how many guys she had her in her life throughout Sex and the City! Does this mean that you should sleep with every guy that comes your way? No! But it means that you shouldn’t have to feel bad about your actions. Simply shrug your shoulders. No big deal. It happened. Move on.

Trisha’s Top Tweets of Summer

In memory of the passing of Summer 2013, I am publishing on my blog my top summer tweets. If you care to follow me, my Twitter is @trishasteffens 🙂 Check it out!

You have never had an IPA? And WHY was I in love with you? #wecantbefriends #goodbeer #whodrinkscoors

“Just tell me I’m yours. Because I am. No need for expectations or commitment. It’s just the way it is. It just IS.”

Am I the only former Coug that is excited it’s HUSKY FOOTBALL?! #uwalumkid #purpleinmyblood #GoDawgs

I am that white girl blasting Tech Nine. #trishaproblems #whitegirlproblems

So I don’t think I will be buying food this week. #spentalmostallmymoney #longchamp #shopping #toomanyclothes #noshame

I can’t handle that again sober. #truelife #awksitations #whereisthetequila

Only my family would have bonding time time by sitting out on the deck and smoking clove cigars. #familytime #familybonding #toofunny #dysfunctional

When your best friend is your wingman and she isn’t even there. #stuffmorgantexts #bestiesfolyfe #wingwoman

I keep wanting him to text back, but then I remember he’s kind of driving a boat. #seattlegirlproblems #guys #boats #seattlelife

Those days when your cat decides he’s a model. #showingoff #mycathasmentalissues #justanothernight

RETWEET: “I high five girls after sex, not cuddle. I don’t want them to get the wrong idea.”

I keep a bottle of wine on hand in case of emergencies. #emergencywine #wineisgood #thetrishalife

RETWEET: “The best thing about pre-season football is getting to pretend that Tony Romo is not the Cowboys’ quarterback.”

RETWEET: “The only insults I will ever take seriously on Twitter are from gay teenagers.”

I wish I was Nina Dobrev. #trishaproblems #TVDhottie

Love is never the answer, TEQUILA is the answer. #duh #ofcourse #tequilaisreal #loveisnotreal

It’s hard to be better than someone when you’re obsessed with rodeos…#truelife #ew #pleasestoptalking #yourenotclassy #hicksitellya

When you dream about the Vampire Diaires and never want to be woken up again. #stefanwasmyboyfriend #dontwakemeup #torture #sadnow

I’m 87% sure I’m a mermaid. #truelife #trishaproblems #lifehappens #mermaidproblems

I have decided I need more cookbooks…and maybe some food to cook with. #trishaproblems #iamnotdomestic #whatiscooking

“It’s going to be….sex” #stuffmorgansays #bestfriends #truethoughts

I don’t think I’m going to be “passive aggressive” Trisha today. #pissedoff #sassy #trishaproblems

When your best friend hits on the random Australian living in your house. #drunkproblems #littlemorganthings

I am pretty sure the apocalypse is happening in Skagit Valley. #mountvernonwildfire #skagitvalleywashington #icanseeitfrommyhouse #anotherdayinthelifeof

I am pretty sure I am still hungover from being drunk 24 hours ago… #trishaproblems #tequilaismyfriend #latenights #yolo

Every day I think to myself, “I wonder what stupid shit my ex did today” just for pure amusement. #stupidpeoplemakemelaugh #imabitchdontcare

The moment when your mom helps you sneak a boy out of your house who snuck in through the window. #badboys #dayinthelifeof #trishaproblems

Liking you is really putting a damper on my life. #crushproblems

“I feel like you would be a manwhore, but I feel like this (gestures to the face) gets in the way.” -Morgan to James #stuffmorgansays #clipperattendantconvos #bestfriend #omg

I hate when people you love to stalk on Instagram put their settings on private. #wth #idontwanttofollowyou #dammit

95% of the time, I cannot deal with my feelings towards boys. #truelife #trishaproblems #sometimesiwishiwasalesbian

I want a big girl job…and a cup of coffee. A BIG cup of coffee. #tired. #caffeineisneeded #crankymorningperson

“Germs make you vomit. GERMS make weird stuff grow on your privates.” #stuffjamessays #clipperattendantconvos #germs

The awkward moment when half of your ex boyfriends are married. #iam20 #awksituations #hahayouuglay #trishaproblems

I had 666 friends, so I deleted one because I couldn’t deal with the number. #trishaproblems #sorrynotsorry #evilnumber #superstitiousashell

True guy friends seduce boys using your phone. #ihaveweirdfriends #bromisaweirdo #lovemycoworkers

I still manage to throw something at the TV when LC choose Jason over Paris at the end of season one of the Hills. #theHills #flashback #LC #hateJason

Giving your mom a pair of cowboys boots you don’t wear in exchange for her paying your chiropractor bill. #trishaproblems #billsbillsbills #dowhatigottado

“I’ve had periods longer than that.” #stuffdesnisays #bestfriend #yourenotinloveafteraweek

I should have my own show called “The Cat Whisperer.” #crazycatlady #ilovecats #theytalktome

I really need to stop watching #TeenWolf and start working on my resume. #howoldamiagain #ilovewerewolves #cantstopwatchingthisshow

Never give up on someone who texts you after a bridge collapse. #iwillneverunderstandhim #wtfiswrongwithyou

If I hear one more girl use the word “hubby” I will have a nervous breakdown and become a werewolf. #truelife #notcute #trishaproblems #iamsecretlyawerewolf

My intoxicated mother informed me she will be living until she is 120. #mothers #trishaproblems #wineisalwaystheanswer

When you sit your cat and dog down for the “vacuum cleaners are not monsters” talk. #ineedtogobacktowork #yesitalktomypets #imgoingcrazy

When you tell your mother, “I don’t answer the door anyway, then I have to talk real people and not the dog…” #trishaproblems #ihatepeople #pleasedonttalktome

When Amanda Knox’s book becomes way more interesting than anything else going on in your life. #cantstopreading #sogood #kindlebooks

When your cat pretends he’s dying just so you will let him into your room. #mycathasmentalissues #jesusyouscaredme #crazycatlady

Ian and Nina broke up? No. No. No. I can’t deal. #teamdamonforever #favcelebcouple #perfecttogether #TVDcouples #dyinginside