Best Tweets of the Fall

Pic Credit: Twitter

I did it for the summer and now I’m doing it for the fall! These are my best tweets of the season. Be sure to follow me on Twitter : @trishasteffens

My life flashes before my eyes when I can’t find my other fuzzy sock. #trishaproblems #fuzzysocks

If it was acceptable, I would start today off with a shot of whiskey. #canijustleaveforvacaynow #whatdoesntkillyouonlymakesyoustronger

Ditching my bed and episodes of #TrophyWife was definitely a bad idea. #notplaying #stillsick #whyamihere

No Edward, you look like a drag queen when you sparkle, not a killer. #twilightproblems #hehe #butseriously

I make it a goal to make my life look like it belongs on Tumblr. #trishaproblems #prettythingsinlife

Instead of eating pizza, I reblog pictures of pizza. #pizzaproblems #closeenough

The air is even cleaner here….can we go back to Seattle now? #Portlandproblems #afterbeinginportlandfortwoseconds

I just don’t understand those people who want to be friends with me. #stop #idontlikeclingypeople #leavemealone

RETWEET Kat Dennings: “Sometimes instead of studying, I eat tortellini”

When the CEO of Victoria Clipper gets quoted calling himself a “dumbass” #keepitprofessional #facepalm

I’m that person who drives 20 mph over the speed limit and gets mad at other people for driving slow… #ihaveproblems #speeddemon #ijustwannagethomedammit

Let’s stop all of this not talking and eye glances and make out already. #latetweet #yesterday #truestory #isawyou

My closet is turning into #Nordstrom. #workproblems #workflow #love #illgetitatwork

Only we would drunk text someone with the intention of sounding like #KristinCav #lagunabeachproblems

I just wrote three sentences — rewarding myself with Twitter. #collegeproblems #noshame #dontwannawritethispaper

Randomly revising Albert Camus’ #TheStranger to a more urban modern setting. #onlyincomclass #nerdtimeswithjaimie

A 90% on a paper I wrote in fifteen minutes? Kay thanks. #didnteventry #collegelife

I’m a compulsive Nordstrom shopper and I’m not even sorry about it. #sorrynotsorry #nordstromproblems

“If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” -Paul Coehlo. #holla #truthbetold

Why do I always get myself into trouble when I come back to Skagit County? #trishaproblems #canthelpmyself #herewegoagain

According to #TheVampireDiaries we all get #doppelgangers when we turn into #vampires. #dafuq

Only I would sit in New Testament theology and wonder if Jesus was hot… #trishaproblems #onlyme #tooearlyforthis

Well, how long do you wait for the hero to realize he’s the hero? #iquotemyself

“If you’re going to throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!” – Lorelai Gilmore #gilmoregirls #thesenights #lovethisquote

 

Trisha’s Top Tweets of Summer

In memory of the passing of Summer 2013, I am publishing on my blog my top summer tweets. If you care to follow me, my Twitter is @trishasteffens 🙂 Check it out!

You have never had an IPA? And WHY was I in love with you? #wecantbefriends #goodbeer #whodrinkscoors

“Just tell me I’m yours. Because I am. No need for expectations or commitment. It’s just the way it is. It just IS.”

Am I the only former Coug that is excited it’s HUSKY FOOTBALL?! #uwalumkid #purpleinmyblood #GoDawgs

I am that white girl blasting Tech Nine. #trishaproblems #whitegirlproblems

So I don’t think I will be buying food this week. #spentalmostallmymoney #longchamp #shopping #toomanyclothes #noshame

I can’t handle that again sober. #truelife #awksitations #whereisthetequila

Only my family would have bonding time time by sitting out on the deck and smoking clove cigars. #familytime #familybonding #toofunny #dysfunctional

When your best friend is your wingman and she isn’t even there. #stuffmorgantexts #bestiesfolyfe #wingwoman

I keep wanting him to text back, but then I remember he’s kind of driving a boat. #seattlegirlproblems #guys #boats #seattlelife

Those days when your cat decides he’s a model. #showingoff #mycathasmentalissues #justanothernight

RETWEET: “I high five girls after sex, not cuddle. I don’t want them to get the wrong idea.”

I keep a bottle of wine on hand in case of emergencies. #emergencywine #wineisgood #thetrishalife

RETWEET: “The best thing about pre-season football is getting to pretend that Tony Romo is not the Cowboys’ quarterback.”

RETWEET: “The only insults I will ever take seriously on Twitter are from gay teenagers.”

I wish I was Nina Dobrev. #trishaproblems #TVDhottie

Love is never the answer, TEQUILA is the answer. #duh #ofcourse #tequilaisreal #loveisnotreal

It’s hard to be better than someone when you’re obsessed with rodeos…#truelife #ew #pleasestoptalking #yourenotclassy #hicksitellya

When you dream about the Vampire Diaires and never want to be woken up again. #stefanwasmyboyfriend #dontwakemeup #torture #sadnow

I’m 87% sure I’m a mermaid. #truelife #trishaproblems #lifehappens #mermaidproblems

I have decided I need more cookbooks…and maybe some food to cook with. #trishaproblems #iamnotdomestic #whatiscooking

“It’s going to be….sex” #stuffmorgansays #bestfriends #truethoughts

I don’t think I’m going to be “passive aggressive” Trisha today. #pissedoff #sassy #trishaproblems

When your best friend hits on the random Australian living in your house. #drunkproblems #littlemorganthings

I am pretty sure the apocalypse is happening in Skagit Valley. #mountvernonwildfire #skagitvalleywashington #icanseeitfrommyhouse #anotherdayinthelifeof

I am pretty sure I am still hungover from being drunk 24 hours ago… #trishaproblems #tequilaismyfriend #latenights #yolo

Every day I think to myself, “I wonder what stupid shit my ex did today” just for pure amusement. #stupidpeoplemakemelaugh #imabitchdontcare

The moment when your mom helps you sneak a boy out of your house who snuck in through the window. #badboys #dayinthelifeof #trishaproblems

Liking you is really putting a damper on my life. #crushproblems

“I feel like you would be a manwhore, but I feel like this (gestures to the face) gets in the way.” -Morgan to James #stuffmorgansays #clipperattendantconvos #bestfriend #omg

I hate when people you love to stalk on Instagram put their settings on private. #wth #idontwanttofollowyou #dammit

95% of the time, I cannot deal with my feelings towards boys. #truelife #trishaproblems #sometimesiwishiwasalesbian

I want a big girl job…and a cup of coffee. A BIG cup of coffee. #tired. #caffeineisneeded #crankymorningperson

“Germs make you vomit. GERMS make weird stuff grow on your privates.” #stuffjamessays #clipperattendantconvos #germs

The awkward moment when half of your ex boyfriends are married. #iam20 #awksituations #hahayouuglay #trishaproblems

I had 666 friends, so I deleted one because I couldn’t deal with the number. #trishaproblems #sorrynotsorry #evilnumber #superstitiousashell

True guy friends seduce boys using your phone. #ihaveweirdfriends #bromisaweirdo #lovemycoworkers

I still manage to throw something at the TV when LC choose Jason over Paris at the end of season one of the Hills. #theHills #flashback #LC #hateJason

Giving your mom a pair of cowboys boots you don’t wear in exchange for her paying your chiropractor bill. #trishaproblems #billsbillsbills #dowhatigottado

“I’ve had periods longer than that.” #stuffdesnisays #bestfriend #yourenotinloveafteraweek

I should have my own show called “The Cat Whisperer.” #crazycatlady #ilovecats #theytalktome

I really need to stop watching #TeenWolf and start working on my resume. #howoldamiagain #ilovewerewolves #cantstopwatchingthisshow

Never give up on someone who texts you after a bridge collapse. #iwillneverunderstandhim #wtfiswrongwithyou

If I hear one more girl use the word “hubby” I will have a nervous breakdown and become a werewolf. #truelife #notcute #trishaproblems #iamsecretlyawerewolf

My intoxicated mother informed me she will be living until she is 120. #mothers #trishaproblems #wineisalwaystheanswer

When you sit your cat and dog down for the “vacuum cleaners are not monsters” talk. #ineedtogobacktowork #yesitalktomypets #imgoingcrazy

When you tell your mother, “I don’t answer the door anyway, then I have to talk real people and not the dog…” #trishaproblems #ihatepeople #pleasedonttalktome

When Amanda Knox’s book becomes way more interesting than anything else going on in your life. #cantstopreading #sogood #kindlebooks

When your cat pretends he’s dying just so you will let him into your room. #mycathasmentalissues #jesusyouscaredme #crazycatlady

Ian and Nina broke up? No. No. No. I can’t deal. #teamdamonforever #favcelebcouple #perfecttogether #TVDcouples #dyinginside

 

You’re Forgetting How to Act Part 16

Pic Credit: Tumblr

1. I will never trust UPS after they screwed up delivering my package on time, especially since it happened to be a top I purchased specifically for a party the day after the scheduled delivery date.

2. Starbucks’ new La Boulange food line is fantastic. If you haven’t tried it, you will be pleasantly surprised.

3. Never be afraid to try new things. New trends, new food, new people, even new movies. Don’t get caught in a rut — keep your life spicy!

4. If you like a girl, tell her. Don’t play games and leave her wondering. You don’t have to date her, just tell her! #guysarestupid #whatever.

5. If you’re not Team Damon, then we have nothing to talk about. #truestory #thevampirediaries #damonishotter

6. Roommates are fantastic to have when you have no idea what to wear to a party.

7. My latest literary obsession is Dorothy Parker. #literature #writer #poet

8. If it is a Saturday, there is no reason to put on real clothes until it is time to go out with friends. Embrace wearing no pants.

9. Summer obsessions should include maxi dresses, tequila, bikinis, braids, books, sunshine, and meeting new friends. #summertime

10. Myths all start from some truth. Always find myths that you love to read, myths that relate to your life. #mythology