Trisha’s Top Tweets of Summer

In memory of the passing of Summer 2013, I am publishing on my blog my top summer tweets. If you care to follow me, my Twitter is @trishasteffens 🙂 Check it out!

You have never had an IPA? And WHY was I in love with you? #wecantbefriends #goodbeer #whodrinkscoors

“Just tell me I’m yours. Because I am. No need for expectations or commitment. It’s just the way it is. It just IS.”

Am I the only former Coug that is excited it’s HUSKY FOOTBALL?! #uwalumkid #purpleinmyblood #GoDawgs

I am that white girl blasting Tech Nine. #trishaproblems #whitegirlproblems

So I don’t think I will be buying food this week. #spentalmostallmymoney #longchamp #shopping #toomanyclothes #noshame

I can’t handle that again sober. #truelife #awksitations #whereisthetequila

Only my family would have bonding time time by sitting out on the deck and smoking clove cigars. #familytime #familybonding #toofunny #dysfunctional

When your best friend is your wingman and she isn’t even there. #stuffmorgantexts #bestiesfolyfe #wingwoman

I keep wanting him to text back, but then I remember he’s kind of driving a boat. #seattlegirlproblems #guys #boats #seattlelife

Those days when your cat decides he’s a model. #showingoff #mycathasmentalissues #justanothernight

RETWEET: “I high five girls after sex, not cuddle. I don’t want them to get the wrong idea.”

I keep a bottle of wine on hand in case of emergencies. #emergencywine #wineisgood #thetrishalife

RETWEET: “The best thing about pre-season football is getting to pretend that Tony Romo is not the Cowboys’ quarterback.”

RETWEET: “The only insults I will ever take seriously on Twitter are from gay teenagers.”

I wish I was Nina Dobrev. #trishaproblems #TVDhottie

Love is never the answer, TEQUILA is the answer. #duh #ofcourse #tequilaisreal #loveisnotreal

It’s hard to be better than someone when you’re obsessed with rodeos…#truelife #ew #pleasestoptalking #yourenotclassy #hicksitellya

When you dream about the Vampire Diaires and never want to be woken up again. #stefanwasmyboyfriend #dontwakemeup #torture #sadnow

I’m 87% sure I’m a mermaid. #truelife #trishaproblems #lifehappens #mermaidproblems

I have decided I need more cookbooks…and maybe some food to cook with. #trishaproblems #iamnotdomestic #whatiscooking

“It’s going to be….sex” #stuffmorgansays #bestfriends #truethoughts

I don’t think I’m going to be “passive aggressive” Trisha today. #pissedoff #sassy #trishaproblems

When your best friend hits on the random Australian living in your house. #drunkproblems #littlemorganthings

I am pretty sure the apocalypse is happening in Skagit Valley. #mountvernonwildfire #skagitvalleywashington #icanseeitfrommyhouse #anotherdayinthelifeof

I am pretty sure I am still hungover from being drunk 24 hours ago… #trishaproblems #tequilaismyfriend #latenights #yolo

Every day I think to myself, “I wonder what stupid shit my ex did today” just for pure amusement. #stupidpeoplemakemelaugh #imabitchdontcare

The moment when your mom helps you sneak a boy out of your house who snuck in through the window. #badboys #dayinthelifeof #trishaproblems

Liking you is really putting a damper on my life. #crushproblems

“I feel like you would be a manwhore, but I feel like this (gestures to the face) gets in the way.” -Morgan to James #stuffmorgansays #clipperattendantconvos #bestfriend #omg

I hate when people you love to stalk on Instagram put their settings on private. #wth #idontwanttofollowyou #dammit

95% of the time, I cannot deal with my feelings towards boys. #truelife #trishaproblems #sometimesiwishiwasalesbian

I want a big girl job…and a cup of coffee. A BIG cup of coffee. #tired. #caffeineisneeded #crankymorningperson

“Germs make you vomit. GERMS make weird stuff grow on your privates.” #stuffjamessays #clipperattendantconvos #germs

The awkward moment when half of your ex boyfriends are married. #iam20 #awksituations #hahayouuglay #trishaproblems

I had 666 friends, so I deleted one because I couldn’t deal with the number. #trishaproblems #sorrynotsorry #evilnumber #superstitiousashell

True guy friends seduce boys using your phone. #ihaveweirdfriends #bromisaweirdo #lovemycoworkers

I still manage to throw something at the TV when LC choose Jason over Paris at the end of season one of the Hills. #theHills #flashback #LC #hateJason

Giving your mom a pair of cowboys boots you don’t wear in exchange for her paying your chiropractor bill. #trishaproblems #billsbillsbills #dowhatigottado

“I’ve had periods longer than that.” #stuffdesnisays #bestfriend #yourenotinloveafteraweek

I should have my own show called “The Cat Whisperer.” #crazycatlady #ilovecats #theytalktome

I really need to stop watching #TeenWolf and start working on my resume. #howoldamiagain #ilovewerewolves #cantstopwatchingthisshow

Never give up on someone who texts you after a bridge collapse. #iwillneverunderstandhim #wtfiswrongwithyou

If I hear one more girl use the word “hubby” I will have a nervous breakdown and become a werewolf. #truelife #notcute #trishaproblems #iamsecretlyawerewolf

My intoxicated mother informed me she will be living until she is 120. #mothers #trishaproblems #wineisalwaystheanswer

When you sit your cat and dog down for the “vacuum cleaners are not monsters” talk. #ineedtogobacktowork #yesitalktomypets #imgoingcrazy

When you tell your mother, “I don’t answer the door anyway, then I have to talk real people and not the dog…” #trishaproblems #ihatepeople #pleasedonttalktome

When Amanda Knox’s book becomes way more interesting than anything else going on in your life. #cantstopreading #sogood #kindlebooks

When your cat pretends he’s dying just so you will let him into your room. #mycathasmentalissues #jesusyouscaredme #crazycatlady

Ian and Nina broke up? No. No. No. I can’t deal. #teamdamonforever #favcelebcouple #perfecttogether #TVDcouples #dyinginside

 

You’re Forgetting How to Act Part 15

Pic Credit: Tumblr

1. If you are a girl or my age and did not cry when the news that Cory Monteith died — you have no soul. #RIPCoryMonteith #PrayforLea

2. It is about time to change your iPhone case when your actual phone is in better shape than your case.

3. Breakfast at three in the morning is always acceptable, especially when you’re still drunk on tequila. #grownupliving

4. Lately, it seems something bad always happens when I’m in Mount Vernon. Between bridges falling and wildfires, I’m beginning to take it personally. #badluck #skagitcountyproblems

5. If he is wearing anything camo, he’s not worth your time. #duh #keepitclassy

6. There is no crime for paying $18 for a quality basic tank top — especially recycled fabric. However, it is a crime to pay that much for a tub top…

7. The best revenge after breaking off a relationship? Losing ten pounds. #motivation #hahasucker

8. I don’t need to go to the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale? Do you realize who you are talking to? #cmonhere #besttimeofthesummer

9. Tequila parties are THE summer party to RSVP to.

10. President Obama is probably the classiest president since Kennedy. So much grace and tact, it makes me proud I supported him. #lovethatman #classymofo

11. I only listen to hip-hop that does not involve “getting bitches” and using women has sex objects #norkellyforme #puhlease

12. Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend, obviously never had a dog.

13. Despite the level of controversy the new Rolling Stone caused (why are we surprised people, it’s Rolling Stone….) that was one of the best articles I have read in quite a while. #keepaware #openmind

14. The brain game site, Luminosity is pretty awesome. Check it out! #workthatbrain

15. Love is not just found in romance between two people. It can be found in the deepest of friendships, the embrace of a parent, or even in the simple lick of a dog.