Let’s Talk About…SHHHH!!!

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As time progresses, more and more sex becomes a causal encounter. But how casual should sex be? Should we allow people to define it? Thanks to Carrie Bradshaw and the ultimate single gal image — sex is more acceptable to be casual than it was a decade ago. Despite it becoming more socially acceptable (especially because of HBO) it does not mean that women can escape the double standard. Guys are high-fived, women are called “whores”. So are we whores? Can we have sex without the negative stereotype? Are we allowed to own our sexuality?

This week, I had an experience that really made me re-think this idea of casual sex. I had hung out with this guy once and we had hardly exchanged many text messages before he texts me in the middle of the night. He asks to come over, I’m half asleep, shrugging my shoulders asking myself, “Why the hell not?” Next thing I know: Boom. Boom. Done.

I have had my fair share of encounters with guys. From boyfriends to flings, to a long term fling. However, there was something different about this one. I was deeply conflicted afterwards. Conflicted about what? Everything. Was a I whore? Was I used? Why did I do that? All of these kinds of questions began to circle in my head and I know I’m not the only girl who thinks of these things.

Reflecting on the situation I realized something vital. I was using him just as much as he was possibly using me. After all, I knew quite well what I was getting myself into by having him come over in the middle of the night. Sure, this wasn’t like me, but I knew what I was doing nonetheless and I knew the repercussions of what could happen afterwards. Then I started to ask myself: did I really want to date, hoping to have a boyfriend? Not really. Did I want to enter a fling as friends like my last encounter? Not really. I was not going down that rabbit hole anytime soon again. So then it came to me, maybe all I wanted was a simple hook up.

So, this progresses into the question of the century. Does this make me a whore? My answer? No! It makes me a woman. I have needs just like everyone else does. Take for example, does the majority of the population call Carrie Bradshaw a whore? And look at how many guys she had her in her life throughout Sex and the City! Does this mean that you should sleep with every guy that comes your way? No! But it means that you shouldn’t have to feel bad about your actions. Simply shrug your shoulders. No big deal. It happened. Move on.

You’re Forgetting How to Act Part 7

1. You know you are a local of Mount Vernon, WA when you get extreme road rage at all of the detour drivers going through town because of the bridge collapse. Is it too much for me to get to Target and back home? Apparently so.

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2. Never attempt to watch 16 and Pregnant with hopes that it will be interesting or surprisingly decent. Baby daddy drama and terrible grammar does not make a good TV show. Stick to Investigation Discovery or USA Network.

3. Find someone you never have to apologize to.

4. Guys: if you want the girl you have been sleeping with to do anything sexually and she’s not comfortable doing it, never ask her. Oh, then do not push her to do it when she already says no. Do you not have any consideration for her feelings?

5. If you tell me that 50 Shades of Grey is the best book you have ever read, you probably have a 5th grade reading level and an IQ of 90.

6. I want my life to be like Jamie’s from Friends with Benefits. Her apartment is perfect, she has a fantastic job, great body, independent, fabulous outfits, and Justin Timberlake as her best friend. Yep, I want that life.

7. Do not trust all of your friends. Sometimes, people are your friends to have someone just to hang out with when their other friends can’t hang out.

8. Twitter is in. Facebook is out. Simple as that.

9. I can’t listen to your stupid boy drama when I am too focused on picking out the perfect Lilly print for when I pre-order my Lilly Pulitzer agenda.

10. If your bed is not made, you won’t get any work done that day.